What is wholeness and why does it matter?
And other light topics for your Sunday morning.
During the summer of my sophomore year of college, I found myself in the middle of a Younglife camp snack shack, scooping ice cream next to some incredible girls. By the end of the season, my right forearm had bulked up considerably, and I had developed a newfound disdain for Maui Waui sherbet—the hardest of all the flavors to scoop.
As our time at camp drew to a close, our interns had one final surprise in store for us: an unexpected field trip.
Piling eight girls into one car, we drove down the dusty dirt road and stopped at a large pond. As we unfurled from the backseat, each of us were handed a small rock with a simple instruction: write something you wanted to leave behind at camp and then throw it in the water. I wrote fear (classic) and chucked it. Turning back around, I was given a new rock and told to write something in its place that I wanted to remember or cultivate in the months ahead. As I watched the other girls write on their new keepsake, my mind remained blank.
I still don’t know what prompted me to do this but I handed the rock back to my intern and asked her to write something for me instead. She gave me a quizzical look but pocketed the pebble and told me she would return it before I left.
As I packed up my car on the morning of our last day, she came over to me quietly. Pressing the rock into my hand, she said, "I stayed up praying all night, and this word just kept coming up" before smiling and walking away. Giddy, I opened my hand to find the word “Whole” written on the smooth surface.
Whole…? What does that even mean? I was expecting something a bit more classic like “Joy” or “Beloved.” I had no grid for whole.
So instead of asking for more clarity, I threw the rock in my backpack and promptly forgot about it as I said my goodbyes.
Except, I couldn’t forget. This word continued to plague me. Not only for the next few weeks but for the next few years as well.
Looking back, this was a defining moment in my life. I am forever thankful to my friend who took the time to ask the Lord what He wanted to share with me at this moment. Now, the word “whole” or “wholeness” has become a defining factor of my life. After my relationship with the Jesus, it’s what I try to cultivate most.
And yet, years later I am still unpacking what it means.
Despite the fact that I see the word pop up everywhere, from church conference slogans to wellness marketing campaigns and food branding, I am still discovering its many facets.
For example, for a long time I assumed it simply meant “not broken” or “complete.” And while these definitions hold true, they only begin to scratch the surface.
Years after the rock encounter, I was spending time with Jesus and reading my bible when I came across the classic verse, “be perfect as your heavenly father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48) and immediately cringed. Perfectionism has been an ongoing battle for me so to be told that I need to strive for it even more? Not a fan. However, as I continued to read I felt prompted to look closer at this word “perfect” and place it within its original context.
In the Greco-Roman worldview (which heavily influences our contemporary understanding of the world), the word “perfect” conveys a sense of flawlessness or rightness. On the other hand, based on a Hebraic worldview, the word ‘perfect’ means aligned, unified or whole. In this context, if something is perfect it means it is operating in unity with how it was originally created.
My entire life I have strived for “rightness” when really I needed unity.
Wholeness can therefore be thought of as every part of ourselves operating in unity and as the Lord first intended: our mind, body, soul and spirit aligned and in relationship with Him.
So when I say I try to cultivate wholeness, what I mean is that I am first aware of all these different parts and how they influence one another. I am then constantly bringing them back to Jesus to ask for His heart and thoughts on each.
For example, this could look like me asking Jesus to share more about how trauma lives in our bodies. Or how my mind perceives unsafety and what He wants to say about it. Or how does the spiritual world affect the physical? What does my soul need to thrive in this current season? By asking the Holy Spirit to share more of His thoughts on these matters, I not only learn more about myself but Him as well. I get to know more of His heart for human flourishing.
When it comes to cultivating more wholeness in our lives, the goal is not necessarily to reach a place of perfect alignment 100% of the time but simply to recognize the standing invitation. To notice when something is slightly off or where we have become misaligned with our core values and gently partner with God in shepherding those pieces back into place.
In order to do this, it means growing in greater awareness. Awareness of how my mind, body, soul and spirit actually operate and interact with one another and the various things they can get tangled up in. It also means becoming more aware of the Lord’s heart and presence in my life. To know for myself that He is always speaking in love and has a lot to say. This comes with time and practice. A process if you will.
We will be unpacking all of this more in the months to come because I know this is easier said than done. However, it is a journey worth embarking on. Because when we begin to cultivate wholeness in our own lives, we not only come back home to ourselves but we grow in relationship with God and others too. So much so that if somebody places a rock in your hand and asks for a word, you might also be able to write something life changing in its place.
Prompts For Further Processing:
An invitation for those who want to sit with this topic a little bit more.
Grab a pen and a piece of paper and spend some time with these questions.
Have you had any life defining moments that appeared small or mundane at first but later you realized how impactful they were? Who was involved in this moment? What would it look like to reach out to those people and thank them for their role in this encounter?
What is something you center your life on? Something you intentionally try to cultivate or practice every day?
What does living a life that is “aligned” or “unified” mean to you?
Close your eyes and picture this. Your mind, body, soul and spirit are trees. What kind of trees would each of these be? What stage of growth or maturity are they each in? Draw the four trees. What do each of these trees need in order to thrive moving forward? Write down the first thing that comes to mind for each.
Ask the Holy Spirit, “which of these four trees do you want to highlight? Is there anything you want to say about it? What would it look like to nurture this tree and my relationship to it moving forward into this week?”
Housekeeping
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